Having a parent pass away before seeing you walk down the aisle is devastating. What is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, quickly becomes filled with sadness. Sue and Clint made the decision to get legally married in April, but to postpone the wedding celebration until October. This was a tough decision as they had everything planned already, and would lose out on deposits and booking fees. Sue chats to us today about the difficulties of postponing a wedding and why she is so glad they did it!
Sue, describe yourselves to us
Social, family orientated, disciplined, active, creative in a non-conformist kind of way.
So you had 2 wedding days? One in April and one in October. How did it go?
Our official marriage day on the 18th of April was incredibly intimate and very emotional and just beautifully, raw and real. It was a very special day. My incredible family and bridesmaids flew in from CT and JHB to be there for me. The day itself was just Spectacular – my inlaws and extended family and friends arranged flowers, food, eats… and we did the ceremony on the end of the deck in my folks stunning new home in Umdloti… But If I have to be totally honest it was not the euphoric occasion I had envisage, and it was only after the October wedding that I fully realized this.
17th October 2015… everything I had envisaged and dreamt about came to life…the weather…. The music… The guests…. The speeches.
I arrived at the Church with my mom and bridesmaids. I had always dreamt of walking down the aisle with my dad to the very traditional Trumpets Voluntary on organ, but without him this didn’t seem right. Mom walked me to the entrance of the church where Clint fetched me and together we walked down the aisle to Lord Huron (to the ends of the earth). It really was an incredible moment. After the service we all walked down to an old mill where we had set up a food market, with country music, beer on tap, coffee van, beaut Cake table.
Was it easy to postpone your entire celebration? How did your vendors react to this sudden change?
The concept of moving our wedding was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I was so worried about putting my guests out and concerned about them losing accommodation deposits. After Dad died on the 3rd of April I was in absolutely no state to make a decision about anything. I told Clint he needed to make a decision for us. He was incredible… on the 4th he emailed all 200 invited guests (and our wedding planner) and told them that we had decided to postpone the wedding until the end of the year.
My husband’s Family had already flown out from Kenya for the big day and wouldn’t have been able to come back again. This was probably the main reason we felt the need to have the small ceremony at home. We had already planned to do this for dad 4 days before he died (but he had already slipped into a coma).
Honestly, suppliers were not as understanding and accommodating as I had thought they would be… but this ended up being a blessing in disguise.
A few days after our April wedding (3 weeks after my dad died) Clint and I discussed cancelling the wedding totally. We felt it was so unnecessary to have a big lavish white wedding now that we were already married, so we enquired with our wedding planner about cost implications to cancel the day.
The cancelation costs came to 1/4 of the cost of the total wedding… We were shocked and initially really angry about this and couldn’t understand why things like table/cutlery/glasses/flowers would still require the 50% deposit… I am not in the wedding industry, but now I understand that deposits are there for a reason – for these businesses it would not be viable financially for them to not charge a cancelation fee.
Having said this, not one supplier ever complained or questioned accommodating another date. I have no doubt that it was a management nightmare for Emma our Wedding planner but she never worried us with any of these issues.
I wish we didn’t bother with….
After losing Dad, a few of the extra frills and small details such as the gold cutlery and crystal glasses seemsed so unnecessary, but we were unable to get our deposits back for these so just decided to keep them as planned. They did add a great touch to the décor but I don’t believe were really worthwhile.
The best money spent was on what?
THE MUSIC!! – we had an incredible country/folk band at the food market ( Wiam Otto and a Hinds Brother) the Super cool Calan Watts got the party started on the dance floor at reception and the best, most professional DJ EVER! Kevin Mckune (I forfeited a deposit for another DJ as Kevin was available for October.)
Can we just talk about your amazing dress for a second? Tell us more!
Does Casey Jeanne need any introduction?! I wanted simple… simple… simple. Thin straps were essential, a fishtail was out of the question. Anastasie is the dress I chose from her Jeannelle La Amour range. We exchanged some lace for simple but super effective horse hair and added the straps.
Those bridesmaid dresses are beautiful. I believe each girl designed her own?
I wanted the girls to feel happy, comfortable and beautiful. The brief was simple; chose any style you want that you feel happy in. The fabric must be antique gold, or beige with a shiny necklace or some kind of gold bling. Yes I know it’s often harder for girls to be given Carte Blanch because they so badly don’t want to disappoint. But I couldn’t have been happier with their choices… and I was really grateful on the day that they just worked so beautifully.
We are totally gaga over your decor and flowers – did you envision this and who was the team that helped bring it together?
I know – how Phenomenal!!! This was one element that totally exceeded my expectations. Much to my mom’s disappointment I didn’t want white roses or lilies, I just wanted green/grey foliage. Sue Akerman is just so talented! I sent a few inspiration pictures and she added just enough white to lift the green (and for me not to notice). Ems sourced the giant trees and hundreds of fairy lights. I wanted a vintage, eclectic, old world feel and that’s exactly what I got.
Who was your favourite vendor on your wedding day?
The coffee Ladies!! (in the vintage coffee van) from I LOVE COFFEE.
Can you tell us about the BEST piece of advice you have received?
Absorb every moment from waking up, to getting ready with the girls. Just enjoy every moment of the day. And chose the venue of your dreams, not your parent’s.
What are people still talking about?
The Venue and the food market!
Hardest part of planning was:
Making sure that suppliers understood/ interpret the vision I had in my mind.
Supporting cast:
Co-Ordinator: Emily Lockhart
Venue: Reichenau Mission (Underberg, South Africa)
Photographer: Vanilla Photography
Videographer: Calvin Thompson Films
Dress: Casey Jeanne
Hair and Make Up: Kym & Me – Hair and Makeup
Bridesmaids Dresses: individually inspired by each lady
Flowers: Sue Akerman
Rings : Christopher Reid Fine Jewellery
Catering and Cakes : To Your Taste by Katheryn Stone
Hair and Make Up: Kym & Me – Hair and Makeup
Music
Country folk Duo; Wiam Otto and Aden Hinds
Party time; Calan Watt
DJ: Kevin McKune
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