People will often talk about how expensive weddings are, but the truth – in actual fact – is that it costs very very little to form a legal union with your betrothed. With R500 to pay for the legal fees, a willing fiancé and two witnesses – you can be Mr and Mrs Happily-Ever-After. The expense comes in with the party that you throw. And my friends – that’s not a marriage, that’s a party.
You may not believe this, but Shirley and Gareth pulled all this off on a budget of R25 000. (That’s USD1650 for our foreign friends) YUP, you read that right! I photographed their wedding in 2014 and it’s one that I will never forget. Besides the fact that Shirley has a cracking sense of humor and is a brilliant writer, she and husband Gareth are very sensible people and planned their wedding celebration with a very strict budget in mind.
Over to Shirley:
With a shared bond, three dogs and four and a half cats under our collective belts, when Gareth and I got engaged, it was evident that a lavish ceremony and extravagant reception was not going to happen. And to be honest, it’s not us. I have the grace and understated presence of a farting elephant, so to shove me into a gossamer dress and push me down a pleasantly cat-fur free rug down an alter was something dreams were certainly made of. But the reality was a small budget to consider.
Our financial limitations and commitments meant that we had to be realistic. That, and I was more destined to decorate any shiny white frock with whatever I would be eating, rather than anything delicate or beaded, so the dress budget was the first to be slashed. My theory is that it’s very hard, as a bride, to not look pretty. And the likelihood of anyone examining a dress label and fabric was minimal, nobody would know if that was real angel tears and unicorn hair sewn into the fabric or not. So, after walking into a boutique, looking at all the prettiness, and then being buried under a tag of zeros, I figured, screw it, I’ll get something on sale. My budget for the dress was R2000. I didn’t need anything pouffy, fluffy, layered, or overly intricate. I’m short and awkward, I’d look like a teetering cake topper. I found what I had in mind almost immediately, possibly out of sheer dumb luck. It was simple, and even elegant. That was already a remarkable improvement on my regular hobo style, which meant it delivered on promise. And because it was on the sale rack, it was even less than my budget. YAY. I skipped the veil as I didn’t want any more reason to get entangled on the big day, and it would be on my head for just a few minutes.
The shoes on a bride, if one pauses to really consider it for a moment, are often hidden or just glanced at. And if noticed, rarely are they critically examined. So I decided I’d skip selling an organ for those and find something I can enjoy the whole day in. I found something sparkly and lovely and, also, even elegant, that went with the dress. And it was R90 at a well know retailer. Sorted. As a backup, my best friend and maid of honour, Shirley Connolly, bought me Wellingtons (weddingtons!), but more on that later.
We spent more on Gareth’s glad rags than mine, merely because all of it is very much still usable. Who won’t need to use a black tie or pants or a crisp white shirt again in their lifetime? It made sense. And saved cents.
For the venue, we looked around and could not find anything that didn’t attract a glare from our weeping bank balance. We decided that we needed to ease the pressure off of ourselves. Wherever the big day happened, it was going to be special because the getting married bit would make it so. If it meant finding a pretty backyard or glamming up a little bistro, the romance of the occasion would contribute enough to the ambience. Then a close friend, Philipa Farley, very kindly offered up her farm, a breathtakingly picturesque spot in the KZN Midlands, and we could not have hoped for a lovelier place. The bottom of the farm has a strip of forest which was perfect for something rustic and relaxed and a great excuse for flat shoes and wellington boots!
Although our budget was tight, we wanted to focus the expense on the things that matter to us. To me, it’s food. Food and happiness is intrinsically tied, so it was important that things tasted good.
The menu for the day was locally sourced as much as possible, but with our budget in mind: gourmet hot dogs, lemonades and ice cream. The sausages were made from whatever was available on the farm – bushpig and quail and various veggies. Ice cream and cream was churned from the farm’s dairy cows (Thank you Silk and Pearl!), We decided to get hitched in the morning so that we could have a light lunch and then finish off at a nearby pub. Guests were treated to yoghurt parfaits and coffee and teas on arrival.
The wedding was outdoors, in a little forest, and the cost of a marquee rental was more than the whole wedding, so we had to go without and asked our guests to bring umbrellas while we fervently hoped for the best. Our hopes were realised with a crisp, beautiful day, where umbrellas popped open to shield from the sun.
The area of investment, as we saw it, with regards to our big day, were the photos. While everything else is fleeting in the blur of the magical day, the images captured are the realised memories that would be treasured forever. So half of our budget was spent on what we considered the best photographer we could find, one that, particularly, took excellent rain photos, should the need arise. We wanted someone who could snap candid moments and Derryn Schmidt was the One. We loved her almost cinematic style, and the ability to capture the day in a form of an unfolding narrative, a photo story. A style that would not date, and one that seized precious moments of the day to enjoy in glossy or digital format for years and generations to come.
We saved a few pennies on other areas namely:
- Sending digital save-the-dates and wedding invites.
- Buying the booze ahead and serving it in metal tubs and wheel barrows, for guests to enjoy at their leisure; what wasn’t consumed we returned.
- Due to the rustic nature of the setting, we got away with a much less formal setup and used it to our advantage, including using wild flowers, jars and other found items for decor.
- We put the ‘hic’ in hiccup and used paper cups for the champagne. I loved it and Im still not sorry.
- What seating plan? After spending hours deliberating, I abandoned that cause. As a result guests mingled and everyone gravitated to the rough outline we had previously wanted to put them in anyway.
- Skipping the favours. After I found, in the bottom of my handbag, an old, mouldy and melted favour from a wedding in the previous century, I realised that perhaps this is a tradition we would be forgiven for forgoing.
- Elderflowers were picked from the forest for the tables, and my bouquet was made from silk because Im allergic to virtually everything. As a result I have the most incredible bouquet in perfect condition to last into the next millennium.
- No make-up artist (yes, really!). My lovely friend, Pascale Lott, helped with the war paint and hair wrangling. I practised tutorials I found on YouTube and she helped me with my hair and make-up. I scrubbed up ok.
- A close friend, Denbeigh van der Merwe, was my style wrangler and helped with the other important details, such as nails and her hubby, Paul, very kindly organised a vehicle for my arrival to the ceremony.
- Jewelry was borrowed.
- Our retinue was alpacas. What I mean is that we didn’t want to do many bridesmaids and groomsmen, just a bestie on either side. And for cute group shots, we posed with one of my favourite animals on earth, the alpacas at the farm next door. Who wouldn’t want alpacas in their pics? And they were free, and their goofy faces were priceless. Sometimes the setting has its own memorable and unique features.
It’s not possible to ensure a totally perfect day, every wedding has its hiccups. We had ours, but they make for great storytelling and reminiscing. We put enormous pressure on ourselves, through tradition, expectation, media conditioning, to pull off a flawless and sometimes every expensive event. But the vows mean just as much if they are said wearing cotton or silk, in a barn or castle. Our wedding is still my favourite, and it’s not just because of the family and friends who joined us, or the food, or the setting, it was because it was the only wedding that I got to marry my husband. That makes it the best one for me.
Supporing cast:
Food & decor by Philipa and Graeme Farley
Photography: Derryn Schmidt
Dress: Jasmin’s in Overport (glamorous, ne?)
Shoes: Mr Price and possibly Tesco’s for the boots
Hair & Make-up: Pascale Lott and a bit of YouTube
Bouquet: Sue Baxter
Cake: Philipa Farley
Venue: Caversham Croft
Arrival car courtesy of Paul van der Merwe from Weiss VW Stamford Hill
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